


POV

by softgirlspring



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: Death in the Family (Movie 2020), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Songfic, but then it turned into a bookstore au, well it was meant to be a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27290404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softgirlspring/pseuds/softgirlspring
Summary: After the events of Under the Red Hood, Jason takes a day off to feel like a normal person. Upon going to the bookstore, he runs into someone he loved so many years ago.
Relationships: Jason Todd/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51
Collections: Jason Todd





	POV

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [POV](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/707383) by Ariana Grande. 



Jason believed himself to be far from beautiful.

It wasn’t like he cared much for his appearance. Maybe if he were himself before everything, when he was fifteen and he’d be constantly irritated because of his acne despite doing everything he could to treat it. Jason would give anything to have the style of his hair be his biggest worries and biggest problems again.

But now, he has scars. Big, ugly, demeaning scars that will forever remind Jason of how horribly disgusting he is both inside and out. Jason didn’t believe he was much of a looker to begin with, but at least normal ugly people could still find love because they had lovable personalities. What did Jason have? Emotional trauma? Baggage? Everyone has their own problems. No sane person wants to have to deal with giving constant therapy to a nobody.

Shortly after he’d come out of the dark with Bruce, Jason took a break from the whole antihero vigilante thing. As much as he’s done for Gotham, Jason was drained. Not just because he’d had a whole gun explode on his hand, or the bruises from his hand-to-hand combat with Bruce, or anything from the past week for that matter, but seeing Bruce again. Seeing him alive and well, fully able to kill the man who had done so much hurt-

For now, Jason wants to feel normal. Jason wants to be a normal person again.

Today, Jason was going to walk through the park, right to that shopping plaza he used to go to him time and time again.

The plaza was probably about several blocks wide, and consisted of a few stores, some restaurants, and most importantly, a movie theatre adjacent to a bookstore. The first time someone had taken him, it was Dick, who was passionately thrilled about the next Superman Documentary to come out. Being that he was a newly trained Robin, Jason wasn’t personally familiar with Clark himself, so he found himself thoroughly enamored with all these “superhero facts” that he would later discover to be far fetched theories much more interesting than the truth.

Though, the best part about that first trip was the bookstore, which Jason had come for today. As he approached the glass door of the tall, brown structure. Jason took a deep breath and felt like he did all those years ago. Right before him was walls upon walls filled with books of all kinds. Of course, there were new additions like whatever iPad dedicated to reading they were selling that year, but that didn’t matter. As beautiful as the front of the store might have been, it was what they kept downstairs in the back that mattered.

Once Jason made it downstairs to the classic literature section, he began to collect not only his favorites, but the last few books he’d been assigned to read. The Outsiders, admittedly, was at fault for his costume choice as Red Hood- he’d always wanted to feel like a 60’s greaser. Jason had also picked Les Miserables, which he had been studying in his AP French class. Among his selections, he picked F Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby to read. As Jason scoped out the store to find a place to read, his eye caught that of the children’s seating area.

Not just the seating area, but a particular person who had been reading to a small group that had gathered in front of them.

And as he fell in love with the book store all those years ago, he would fall in love with you all over again.

Your soft gaze scanning the pages left to right, back and forth. The words you reiterated out loud, The tone, the pitch. You’d definitely grown since then, but Jason could see that your compassion and love for reading had far from changed.

_They could never love me._

Immediately Jason hid behind a bookshelf across the way, and stacked his selection on top. As he hid, he continued to watch the most enamoring person he’d ever met- the one he’d abandoned all those years ago. He watched you alive and well, completely unbeknownst that Jason was even alive. Did Bruce even bother to tell you? Or did you read one of the articles that came out saying he’d been trafficked in Bialya? Such bullshit. What if you didn’t buy it? What if, one way or another, you’d figured that Jason was alive?

Jason watched you finish the story as the children began to file away. He watched you wave goodbye as you smiled and packed your things. Jason couldn’t even help but chuckle when you pulled a pencil out seemingly from out of nowhere when you spotted a pretty window and decided to sketch it out.

Then you stared right at him. Right through the shelf.

Shit.

As you made your way, Jason sloppily threw on his hood and turned as if to be looking through the books to the best of his ability, though he watched you from the corner of his eye as you walked to the other side of the shelf, went on your tiptoes, and picked up the books he had so carelessly left.

“Sir, are these yours?” you inquired innocently, confused as to why the books had been misplaced.

Jason coughed, attempting to alter his voice “Uhhh, no, ma’am.”

“Oh?” you asked suspiciously. “Okay I guess.” You began to read the spines of the books for the titles.

“Have you ever read The Great Gatsby?” you asked, flipping through the fresh pages.

“Yeah,” Jason responded quickly, turning so you wouldn't see his face.

“It’s a good read,” you mused as your eyes began to actually read as you leaned against the shelf. “I used to go out with a guy who really liked this book. We actually read it together for the first time.”

“Oh yeah?” Jason inquired softly, sadly, reminiscing his relationship with you. “What was that like?”

“The guy or the book?” you shot back flirtatiously.

“I-” Jason stopped. God, you always made him so nervous.

“It’s alright, I didn’t mean to bring up an ex,” you spoke. “It’s just.. I saw you earlier. When you walked in. You look a lot like him.”

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence,” Jason grit his teeth. “Don’t overthink it.”

“Look, Jason, I know it’s you.” You closed the book and smiled. “Cut the act.”

Shortly after he’d been caught, you lead him to the coffee shop within the bookstore. You asked him what he wanted, and he refused. Of course, being the kind of person you are, you ordered him a coffee anyway, and even put just the right amount of sugar he wanted, and a couple of cake pops that you refused to let him reject.

After the bookstore, you went back into the bookstore where he would be most comfortable. Truth to be told, this place was both of your safe spaces. You each settled down on your own beanbag chairs.

To say that Jason was perplexed through all of this would be an understatement.

“So..” Jason trailed off, staring at the plastic lid of his coffee cup as his legs were huddled up close to his chest, sitting upright on the beanbag. “Do you not wanna know what happened?”

The mostly upbeat demeanor you’ve kept since you’d started speaking again faded. “It’s not like you’re going to tell me the truth. You never did anyway.”

“Look, I’m sorr-!” Jason began to shout before being shushed by a child. You couldn’ t help but giggle.

“Dude, we’re in a book store. Chill.” You chastised Jason as though he were a child himself.

“Whatever.” he pouted. “But for real, I’m sorry. Seriously. I had a lot going on the night of the dance and after that.. Well I wasn’t even..” Jason found difficulty articulating what happened to him.

Even he barely comprehended the fact that he fucking died and came back to life. He wouldn’t expect you to process it.

“It’s okay,” you took his hand. “I could tell you’ve been through it. Wherever you were..at least you aren’t there now.”

“You know,” you pondered as you rubbed his hand with the thumb already on his, “I came to the manor a few times.”

“Oh yeah?” he turned to find you, tearing up, but smiling. “What for?”

“Just to feel like I was near you. No one’s touched your room since you’ve been gone except for me. But even I would just lie down on the floor and just be there, you know.”

Having both of your drinks on the ground, you leaned back to lie down on the beanbag and gestured for Jason to do the same. You turned to him, smiled, and hesitantly took your hand to his face, caressing his scars.

Your eyes were so full of.. Something. Something Jason hasn’t seen from anyone in years.

“What are you doing?” Jason breathed, feeling alive for the first time in a while.

“You never cease to amaze me, Jason Todd” You softly spoke, now gently running your fingers through his white streak. “Never ever.”

“Why do you say that?” Jason laughed sarcastically. “It’s not like I’m much anyway.”

“Oh please,” You now traced his jawline with the tips of your fingers. “No one can get this fucked up and look this good.” You now placed your hand on his heart. Then, your hands found their way around his back as you moved your head to his chest.

Not knowing how to respond, Jason hesitantly placed his hand on your head, running your hands through your hair, then to your waist.

You made light, choking sounds, as you gripped Jason’s hood tightly and held him even closer to you.

“Please. Don’t ever leave me again, Jason,” you spoke in between tears.

_You don’t deserve this, Jason. Jason thought to himself once again. You didn’t deserve the trip to the library to feel normal again. You didn’t deserve to see them. You deserve to see them hate you. How could someone love you after all you’ve been through? You’re ugly, disgusting. You’re just going to leave them again. Maybe you should keep talking to them then. Maybe you can finally break their heart more than once._

Well, if Jason knew anything, he knew damn well that they didn’t deserve that. But he couldn’t help but melt even further into their embrace.

“Hey,” Jason gently tapped you after being lost in thought for a while to see if you were awake. “I’ve got a question.”

“Go ahead,”you placed your cheek on his chest, eyes closed. “Shoot.”

“Was Gatsby selfish?” Jason mused. “I mean, that was the whole point, right? He was selfish because he wanted Daisy all to himself, right?”

“I don’t think he was selfish to love her,” you replied, more awake now that you actually had to think.“Just the way he went about it. Also he was a filthy capitalist.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” Jason laughed. “But does him being shitty as a whole make him any less deserving of love?”

“Hmm,” you pondered, now tracing the seams of the side of Jason’s sweater. “No. I don’t think so. Daisy loved him. If we got to see it from her point of view, we could’ve gotten a clearer view of what exactly she found beautiful about Gatsby.”

“Do you think anything’s beautiful about me?” Jason asked, even more conscious about his arms around you.

You chuckled, “Of course, Jay. I don’t care about your scars or however fucked in the head you might be. If there’s anything I know about Jason Todd, it’s that he’s beautifully stubborn. No matter what life throws at him, Jason’s gonna be Jason in here,” you pointed at his chest and looked up at a now crying Jason. You furrowed your brows, scooting upward to meet his face and wiping his tears.

And as you gently took his face once again and moved closer to him, Jason, even for the most fleeting moment, believed that this was what he deserved. He just had to start seeing things from your point of view

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys liked this! I kinda blasted through writing this in the span of an hour so please bear with me if it seems like it isn't much. Feedback is greatly appreciated <3


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